the risk...

a few weeks ago, i was lucky enough to come across this blog entry by sandy coughin. she wrote about the risks we take when we open our homes to other people. as i read it, i found myself nodding in agreement and even pausing to reflect on her words. i thought about it for quite a bit afterwards. fast forward to this week...

i am on the christmas party planning committee for our home school co-op. as the holidays are fast approaching, we started to plan a meeting time/place to get things started. i found myself thinking, again, about the article sandy had written. should i offer up our home as the meeting place? i went rounds with myself. the pros and cons list in my head was forming. i was talking myself into and out of the offer. after much (probably too much) thought, i decided to take the risk. i invited 6 other moms and their children (roughly 15!) to my home to meet.

much like sandy, i worry about the little things.

what would they like to eat/drink? what i serve the "wrong" thing?

will they notice that the playroom is disorganized?

what if my kitchen table isn't big enough for everyone to sit comfortably?

are they looking at the baby's chair attached to the table caked with leftover breakfast and getting disgusted?


maybe all of those things will end up being worthwhile things to worry about. maybe the table won't be big enough. maybe i won't have the perfect snacks set out. maybe, maybe, maybe...

so, here's what i've decided. is it worth not taking the risk if that means not connecting with these folks? no. these women could turn out to be more than just acquaintances from co-op. they could evolve into personal friendships. we need to be connected to other people-not just via email, facebook and other social media. but, real face-to-face, flesh and blood connected. if they are judging me by the state of my (usually presentable, fairly clean) home, so be it. i'm sure i'll never hear of their disapproving attitudes. and if i do, well, that will tell me a lot about them.

in the end, it's going to be just fine. and if it isn't, then hopefully i will take something away from the situation and improve upon it for the next risk i take. because really, i want to be a person who takes some risk, who goes out on a limb hoping for the best and willing to learn for the future.

why we do what we do...

as the official start of school has come and gone, i have been thinking very carefully about why we do what we do. i didn't think that what we do would be perceived as such a radical decision; that people would believe that we were making a choice that would ruin my daughter's life. i didn't think of the looks i'd get from total strangers. what we do is choose to keep our daughter home from school. yes, we choose to homeschool. i know, shocking. i've discovered that people are quite curious about why addie isn't in school. for instance, when we are out and about, addie is usually questioned by random people about why she isn't in school, "no school today?", "are you sick today?" these questions from strangers, among my own personal thoughts got me thinking about why we do what we do. here's what i've come up with so far...



i can honestly say that since school has started in our area, not one day has passed that i haven't breathed at least a tiny sigh of relief that we are not going to school. i wasn't expecting that. my daughter would be entering kindergarten this year had we enrolled her in school. as i tried to prepare myself for the upcoming year, i have to admit, i was concerned about our decision. concerned that i wouldn't do a good job, concerned that addie would be missing out on something...of what i wasn't sure, though. i thought that once the buses started stopping out in front of the house (the bus stop that she would stand out is in front of our house), i would be questioning our choice...wishing i was putting her on the school bus with her friends and waving goodbye from the curb. me, holding her baby sister wishing her a wonderful day, smoothing down her hair and waving goodbye. goodbye....



that didn't happen. instead, the buses came, the kids got on and moms waved goodbye. but not us. no, we were just getting out of bed, still sleepy in our jammies. we were cuddled up on the couch feeding laney and discussing the reasons African elephants have such large ears. we were pondering what to do with our day. we were living. and me, well, i was silently rejoicing. doing a silent happy dance in my head about having both my girls home with me. delighting in the fact that we weren't tied to someone else's idea of a good schedule (getting up by 6:15am to be ready for school isn't appealing to any of us!). ecstatic that i got to witness the lightbulb moments that addie has. thrilled to see my 5 1/2 year old learn through our everyday life. i could go on and on...



so, why do we do what we do? we do this so our children have the experience of learning at their own pace. we do this so they can explore their interests in depth without being rushed or moved on to something else. we do this so we can have more moments of being cuddled up on the couch together-something that may not last forever.